"Rehab", by Amy Winehouse, is an autobiographical track in which she enumerates her reasons for not entering a rehabilitation program for drinking. I love this song for its classic, big-band sound and Amy's profound vocals; I hate it for the way it makes self-destructive thoughts sound so cool. But in that, perhaps, it has something to teach us of the nature of that good-old concept known as sin.
Anyhow, a parody came to mind, perhaps autobiographical in nature, lampooning the sometimes anti-academic mindset of Adventist ministerial interns.
AndrewsGet over yourself! Seminary is good for you; seriously. So far all my classes--all four of them--have been great.
by David Hamstra
They tried to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back
You won't know, know, know.
I ain’t got the time.
And if my President thinks I'm fine...
He’s tried to make me go to Andrews;
I won't go, go, go.
I’d rather stay at home and pray.
I ain’t got 27 months.
'Cause there’s nothing, nothing you can teach me.
That I can't learn from Mrs. E. G. White.
Didn’t get a lot in class,
But I know it don’t come in a "C" pass.
They’re tryin' to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back
You won't know, know, know.
I ain't got the time.
And if my President thinks I'm fine...
He’s tried to make me go to Andrews,
I won't go, go, go.
The man said, why do you think you here?
I said, I got no idea.
I'm gonna', I'm gonna' loose my focus,
So I always keep a Bible near.
Said, I just think you’re distressed.
Miss ministry? Yeah maybe.
Then go test.
They're tryin' to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back
You won't know, know, know
I don’t ever wanna preach again.
I just, Ooo, I just need a friend.
I'm not gonna spend 2 years.
Have everyone think that I'm on the mend.
It’s not just my pride.
It’s just 'til these fears have died.
They’re tryin' to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back,
You won't know, know, know.
I ain't got the time.
And if my President thinks I'm fine...
He’s trying to make me go to Andrews;
I won't go, go, go.
This is the greatest blog post in the history of the Adventist blogosphere. Love it. That was great. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteAnd your recent experience at Andrews means that's a completely unbiased opinion, right? ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the props, man.
Sounds like neo Ecclesiastes.
ReplyDeleteI think not going to rehab proved to be a major miscalculation on Amy's part...
ReplyDeleteAnd these lyrics are brilliant. Better than the original.
Ha! They tried to make me go to Andrews and I said, heck no, and went to La Sierra instead. And paid 5 times as much for the same degree 'cause the GC doesn't subsodize La Sierra. But I considered it worthwhile anyhow. And not just because I have a wife who is a nurse.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I meant subsidize, not subsodize.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I like the Amy Winehouse song, too, but like you I'm growing more leery by the day of her example during her downward spiral.
ReplyDelete