Monday, July 07, 2008

Parody: Andrews

I need to exorcise an earworm, and the only way to do that is to pass it on.



"Rehab", by Amy Winehouse, is an autobiographical track in which she enumerates her reasons for not entering a rehabilitation program for drinking. I love this song for its classic, big-band sound and Amy's profound vocals; I hate it for the way it makes self-destructive thoughts sound so cool. But in that, perhaps, it has something to teach us of the nature of that good-old concept known as sin.

Anyhow, a parody came to mind, perhaps autobiographical in nature, lampooning the sometimes anti-academic mindset of Adventist ministerial interns.
Andrews
by David Hamstra

They tried to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back
You won't know, know, know.

I ain’t got the time.
And if my President thinks I'm fine...
He’s tried to make me go to Andrews;
I won't go, go, go.

I’d rather stay at home and pray.
I ain’t got 27 months.
'Cause there’s nothing, nothing you can teach me.
That I can't learn from Mrs. E. G. White.

Didn’t get a lot in class,
But I know it don’t come in a "C" pass.

They’re tryin' to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back
You won't know, know, know.

I ain't got the time.
And if my President thinks I'm fine...
He’s tried to make me go to Andrews,
I won't go, go, go.

The man said, why do you think you here?
I said, I got no idea.
I'm gonna', I'm gonna' loose my focus,
So I always keep a Bible near.

Said, I just think you’re distressed.
Miss ministry? Yeah maybe.
Then go test.

They're tryin' to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back
You won't know, know, know

I don’t ever wanna preach again.
I just, Ooo, I just need a friend.
I'm not gonna spend 2 years.
Have everyone think that I'm on the mend.

It’s not just my pride.
It’s just 'til these fears have died.

They’re tryin' to make me go to Andrews;
I said no, no, no.
Yes I'm on track, but when I come back,
You won't know, know, know.

I ain't got the time.
And if my President thinks I'm fine...
He’s trying to make me go to Andrews;
I won't go, go, go.
Get over yourself! Seminary is good for you; seriously. So far all my classes--all four of them--have been great.

7 comments:

  1. This is the greatest blog post in the history of the Adventist blogosphere. Love it. That was great. Brilliant.

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  2. And your recent experience at Andrews means that's a completely unbiased opinion, right? ;)

    Thanks for the props, man.

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  3. Sounds like neo Ecclesiastes.

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  4. I think not going to rehab proved to be a major miscalculation on Amy's part...

    And these lyrics are brilliant. Better than the original.

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  5. Ha! They tried to make me go to Andrews and I said, heck no, and went to La Sierra instead. And paid 5 times as much for the same degree 'cause the GC doesn't subsodize La Sierra. But I considered it worthwhile anyhow. And not just because I have a wife who is a nurse.

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  6. I'm sure I meant subsidize, not subsodize.

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  7. Hilarious. I like the Amy Winehouse song, too, but like you I'm growing more leery by the day of her example during her downward spiral.

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